HOLAY SHI~
It’s been a year*!
How; the f*ck; did that happen!?!?!?!?
All we can do a this point is rekolekt the best posts of the the year that wuz.
CHIK
CHIK
CHIKITY
CHECK IT OUT:
So like…
Thankz fo’ readin’ this shi~ & expect more Winnipeg Classicz to come.
~ yo King o’ Rock
Downtown Winnipeg Biz claims they respond to the needs of downtown residents.
.THEN THIS.
THA HORROR
Have you ever walked through downtown Winnipeg?
The streetz are lined with unfortunate souls; prayin’ for schmokes & now their precious butt smokes have been locked away.
HOARDED! by a publicly funded behemoth; sitting in it’z glass office; staring down at the common man who can’t afford smokes.
This.
Is.
a Travesty.
——————
I urge you to take AKSHUN*^! Contact them & tell them we’re not gonna take it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hockey is Religion on the Northcoast. The women of the land lust for their chance to court a stallion of the ice so they can breed & make more lil’ gretzky’s.
Once they have spawned, these fine females belong to an uber-class of mother who MUST wear the uniform.
.
.
.
I BRING YOU
THE HOCKEY MOM
It'z a 1 - 2 - 3 of sex appeeel^(!
!_________________THIS LOOK IS A TRIPLE THREAT_________________!
- The Hair :-: That shi~ needz to be bulldyke short & bleach blonde
- Jacket :-: Short cut & improbable to close around the motherly bosom; Try Ricki’s if yer in the market.
- Jeans :-: Keep ‘em light denim & too tight. Take this one for the team.
As with any good look;. there’s room to let it breathe. Spice in some fake tan & your best screaming voice and you’r on yer way to fittin’ in (!)
In honor ov Movember; & the passing of summer… I bring you another Winnipeg Favorite.
I call him Harley.
He is
hard
.
as
.
.
..
F#CK
He gawt a big 'ol Bell/// Listen' to him jingle it^*!
Add that shi~ up:
- Leather Vest: Quite angelic from a distance, but faux on the up close.
- BMX Wheelz: how ya gown hustle if your ride ain’t rite?
- ICE CREAM! the ice to chill any damn deal
I had the UDKS psycho read his cards. Rumor has it he’s very enterprising but not popular with tha kidz!?
What could it all mean!?*@
You’ll be kept posted
.
Takin’ another kick at the Junior’s Review can; my last attempt was stunted by some guy mumblin’ & rolling around on the floor.
This time it was a smoooooth sailin’. Sure, there was an overweight guy b*tchin’ loudly about not getting dates (and startrek plot holes) but at least I had time to try the burger.
THE FAT BOY
E3t it fast enough & yer heart might not stop
What’s on it?
- Burger
- Mayo
- pickles
- onion
- tomahto
- chilli
- Ketchup
- Mustard
In another town you might call this bomb the monster. Coupled with fries & a cola you can set your wallet to be $8 lighter.
Your stomach…
Burstin’ at the seams.
.
.
!
Mine was anyway.
I managed to eat the burger & 89% of the fries. The food slapped my brain with echos of ‘greasy spoon’ and left my body the kind of full that makes you dizzy & tired.
BOTTOM LINE:
1 / 10 on the vegan pussbag charts
8.2 / 10 on the burger scale
9.5 / 10 on the hangover buster meter
A True Winnipeg Classic
