U Don Know Shi~

I was at the Albert in Winnipeg, hoping to review a show. Due to the nature of the music, I decided to produce this short guide to running a successful frat rock band.

Step 1 – Music

Write some shitty songs that sound like your favorite band crossed with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. There is no genre that slap bass can not be added to.

Then take off your shirts and do every rock move you saw on your favorite Blink 182 DVD.

Also, make sure to mention that you were 'soooo f*cked up...' when you wrote your shitty songs. Hardcore.

Step 2 – Fans

You have to, have to, have to invite ur parents. If you happen upon a frat rock show, you’ll be able to spot the parents by their age, digital camera and general discomfort when the lead singer tells everyone he was fuct on coke when he wrote this one.

Parents. Check!

Step 3 – Image

We’ve already covered the main factors of shirts off and backwards hats, but lets not forget a skin routine.

Make sure to get the grease out before you hit the stage...

Voila*!

Frat Rock at the bar; cuzz keggers and house parties won’t get you to the top.

I dropped by Juniors downtown yesterday to review the Fat boy for our ever popular lunch reviews section.

Unfortunately the burger experience was overshadowed by this guy:

He kept asking ‘Why are you dancing?’ and other shi~ that only Winnipeg’s finest can throw down.

But don’t worry… I’ll try again soon.

Holy Shi~*!

It was a late night of binge drinkin’ when I rolled past Giant Pizza and decided to stop by for a bite.

Hmmmm.... thinkz I'll get the Pepperoni

This place is a classic sign of the neighborhood.

• cheap chicken
• cheap pizza
• cheap prices

I opted for the 2 slices of GIANT PIZZA*! for 2.50$.

that'z not very Giant

REVIEW:
It was 4 definite heat lamp cooked. Toppings were well distributed and the crust wasn’t too doughy. After 9 Lucky lagers it is delish. Otherwise, I would recommend trying to get it fresh.

Bottom Line:
You get what you pay for.