The downtown life can get depressing. Fortunately there are people like the Jesus Caroler to help us carry on.
Tell me it will be ok*^!
It’s not too hard to spot this bringer of the good word. He’s at the corner of St Mary Ave and Hargrave from ~3:30 – 5:30 every weekday. Rumor has it he’s got a fellow choir boy, but we have failed to get a picture.
Beltin' it out from hi$ personal notes
For the record: I’ve never seen him stop singing to ask for money.
The lord works in mysterious ways….
Have you ever gone to Taco Time or Taco Bell?
Ever got your food and been all “WTF is ‘di$ garbage!?”
I have.
It makes me sad inside and out.
For years I was left wondering ‘Where can a guy get a good burrito in this town?’
Enter… Casa Burrito. They set up shop on Portage Ave across from the University of Winnipeg ~ a year ago.
So whupadilly wit dis chilli? Check it:
Burrito & a Big window to watch duh freakz
So this huge Bean & Cheese burrito + mangolicious Jarrito drink cost $9.61.
They’ve also got soy burger for team veg; chicken for team poulet & steak for the steak folk. Nachos’s & some other shi~ are also on the menu; but it’s a Burrito place damnit!
Rice / Beans / Tomato / Onion / Salsa / Cheese / Sour Creme'!
Service speed depends on how busy it is; music is dub / hip hop / university friendly; food is pretty damn good. I think they also deliver if you live downtown but (since I prefer lunch out of the office) I’ve never called them on it.
They make the food with varying levels of spice so the whitest of white can still enjoy a Mexican delight.
Score: 8.4 /10
I see this guy by the Timmies on Portage all the time. He OWNS the ultimate party look.
When he's got the $crill he'll get his partay fill
Note the beautiful mullet (a.k.a. Kentucky Waterfall a.k.a. the Pine Falls Party) in pink.
Up front we’ve got a greasy fu-manchu that eminates man.
However, Timmy wants ladies to know that he’s a lover not a fighter. Hence, the peace sign on the ‘carry all’.
Bottom Line: Don’t f*ck with this Winnipeg Animal.
Back on the Lunch Review hue; I gripped my loose change and forced my way into City Place.
Ain’t no party like a food court party*! and since I’m pro-party I opted for the Samosa Hut. It’s middle eastern food made by the same friendly people at Taste of India.
mmmmmm neon Samosa
It curry warms my heart to see Indian food available beside a Subway. AND! Since all the office douchebags are in line at the Subway you can walk right up and order.
For ~10$ I got the Chaka Masala, Veg Korma, rice, salad, naan bread and a cola.
Just 'cuz it looks like a drippy baby diaper dont mean it isn't deeeelish*!
There are other combos; like 2 samosa and something for $5 or 3 dishes for like a dollar more but I decided to keep it relatively light.
For you fowl fiends out there, butter and tandori chicken is available. They also usually have some sort of lamb/pork product.
Bottom Lines: The food is pretty damn good and is cheaper than the other location. Downside would be that you’re in a food court and scab faced mf’s like this dude will probably be lurking at the table beside you.
"mumble mumble mumble muthafuck mumble mumble"
Final Score:
8.2/10 for food
5.7/10 for environment
It’s been a while since I commented on some douchey office workers; so here’s to you boring suburbanites*!
I was at the Kingshead last night (the Albert isn’t open on Sunday’s) when I spotted these two heros:
I just got the p3nis enlargement app*! O!M!G!
The douche soup has 3 main ingredients:
- Take 2 collared shirts and wear them out on a Sunday evening
- Pour some orange flavored beer – when it comes to beer; white ain’t alight
- Keep your 80’s man perm - it may be natural, but that don’t mean its ok
- throw in a splash of ‘loudly talking about your phone’ to validate ur tiny wang
Voilia*!
U Don Know Shi~
But..
Local shi~head Leanne spotted an aspiring hero @ Portage and Colony.
Better three hours too soon than a minute too late.
The Number’s don’t lie.
There seems to be a hero in our midst.
But who could this caped crusader be and how can we thank him?
