U Don Know Shi~

The Sergent is a downtown staple.  Though he usually hangs out in the exchange around the Albert, I was surprised to $pot him at the corner of Hargrave and St Mary’s Ave.

My cup; shesa empty...

Note: though he’s always looking for a room for the night, he usually can’t tell you what direction the Salvation Army is.

Don’t bother trying to bum a schmoke off him.  He’s always out.

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KNOW YOUR SHI~

Local correspondent and avid shi~head Leanne recently attended Winnipeg’s first annual dumpster day.

For our out of town readers; dumpster day is how we humanely predict whether spring is here to stay.

Winnipeg Winston rears his head but is reluctant to come out...

I don’t blame him.  The last shi~ we need is more winter.

The crowd waits patiently and…

SPRING HA$ SPRUNG(^!

Let us all proceed to our nearest shoppers drug mart and partake in a minty celebration beverage.

TAKE THAT WINTER*^!

I was at 7-11 on Ellice and Maryland; on a mission for 2 things:

1. Bank teller $$$
2. Chicken

While getting $$$ from the bank machine I spotted this:

A truly all in one $hopping experience

For the Record: 7-11 is the premiere chicken destination in Winnipeg’s downtown.

Also for the Record: I did buy chicken. It was tougher than ‘heat lamp’  should allow.  Mouse meat?

Personal style is one thing, but this is just yuck.

I know what to expect when going to trendy bars on Corydon but yeesh..

Look who's an individual!

“Hmm today I’m going to present myself to the world in a way that tells people that I know I’m cooler than my favourite band that you’ve never heard of”

I hope he was hiding a fatal headwound under that ill-fitting toque.

The lesson…douchebaggery in this degree exits.  So be aware.

Arriving in Manitoba in the 1870s, the Mennonite religious group immigrated to practice their pacifist faith in peace. Now-a-days the richest of Mennonites roll the streets of Winnipeg in stylish two tone brown wagons such as theeese:

Think of all the wine that thing could carry?#!

Note the Canadian flags they fly to remember their new found freedom & wheat bread.

While we’re on the topic of mennonites; we highly recommend this Mennonite name generator.

Peter Epp! that’s awesome shi~

It’s obvious that spring is upon us which means that it will only snow a shi~load more. But the good news is the Dog Doodie Trees are in bloom and we can rejoice.

The dog doodie trees are in bloom.

I can’t wait to go to Ass. park with my inside out Safeway bags in tow for Doodie Fest 2k10.

Before you know it we’ll be dodging douchebags in I-ROCs on Portage.

Peace out.

As you should know by now. We’re dedicated to bringing you the real personalities than hang out, enjoy and fight crime in downtown Winnipeg.

Here’s one from R favorite shopping dump: Portage Place.

Velcro shoes, touque & a general knack for insanity = SUPASTAH#*!

I tried to come up with a clever name for this fella; but I was haunted by his vacant stare and low crazy mumble. He was just standing, staring and twiddling his thumbs.

He stood there for ~ 5 min doing the same thing.

Then I realized he was a star*!

Keepin’ with the international vibe; today’s lunch review comes from Kokeb restaurant, located at 330 Ellice ave.

Veg buffet (+1) | Across from Liquor Store (+2)

So, if you missed it in the title; this is an Eythiopian food buffet. Get the “aren’t all Eythiopians starving” jokes out of your system now asshat. If you want to learn about the food Wiki-wiki wha*? the info.

Down to business.

The lunch buffet and a canned drink will cost you 9$ish. The buffet is vegetarian but if you got half an hour to wait you can order off the dinner menu.

Use a fork if ur a pu$$Y; otherwise rip tha bread and scoop the goodness

Sooooo lentils, beets, salad some other yellow and brown stuff; what’s the big deal?

A: The basic flavor and texture are great. You can taste the love.

B: It serves as a great base for the real reason I love this place. HOT SAUCE>!

hot : tangy : flavorful

Check yourself. Just because I say it’s ‘flavorful’ doesn’t mean it’s not hot.

This is some “don’t f*ck around shi~’.

It’s made at Kokeb and perfectly compliments the food. Use the little spoon and put some on the bread before you scoop it. They don’t offer this shi~ up to everybody so don’t be afraid to ask.

The environment is nice & clean and the staff are friendly. There are a few more authentic dining tables and straight up 4 person spots. Its also attached to a bar that, on thursday – saturday nights is bumpin’.

Other things U should know:

• Buffet runs from 11:30 am – 2 pm
• Restaurant reopens ~4:30 pm
• They are not open Mondays
• The music is the same looping CD, so if you’re flying solo bring an iPod

Final Score: 8.8/10

While Pizza Hut Downtown can’t even keep its doors open, Pizza Hotline is making so much ca$h it’s building condos.

Check out this affordable low-rise they just put up near the Osbourne Bridge:

Get ur Applications in early itz fillin' up^!

Roll out of bed and into a sweet river view#!

For more information call 222-2222.

In the name of our ongoing salute to Winnipeg Fashion I bring you Momma Jets*!

Her dedication to her team, hair and comfort have won her a uDonKnowShi fashunned award.

Check ‘er out:

Holdin' faith that the team will return

1. The gov lady / mom hair – popular among… yes! gov ladies and mom’s this low care, high impact cut is the pick of the prairie house wife.
2. Winnipeg Jets Jacket – the team may have moved to warmer pastures but Momma Jets remembers the white outs of yesteryear every single winter day. Go Team Teeeeeemu*!
3. Sweat Pants – always a favorite in the downtown area; ’sweats’ allow a free range of motion at an affordable price. This sweat pants look has been heating up all age groups for year$*_!

BAM*!