You could go to Whiskey Dix or the Kingshead but you’re of a different breed. Your collar doesn’t ‘pop’ and you think fist pumping is a hawt/sick porno.
YOU should party in the girls washroom @ the Royal Albert
Yes. It is the girls washroom and if that makes you uncomfortable as a man, you can’t party here. It also means your a r3t@rd; this is where there girls are at dawg*!
Keep in mind you’re at the Albert not the f*ckin’ Hilton; so if you’re in here to pee there will not be toilet paper. Rumor has it, the regular party goes will hide some in the ceiling tiles but you’re best to bring ur own.
Today’s review is a breakfast special. Yeah, we do lunch reviews, but breakfa$t IS the most important meal of the day.
Since I rarely eat breakfast (there is no time to eat while sleepily chasing a bus) this one comes from a recent business trip OUTSIDE THE PERIMETER?!?!!??!
My legal advisor and I needed a down-low place to discuss the dangerous legal issues that plague modern genius. Where better, than the Brandon Inn?
1 of the 2 places in downtown Brandon you can actually eat
Notice the breakfast special painted on the window.
Could this deal possibly be true?
The interior of the place is a bit… ummm… dated. With a real wilderness vibe that speaks to the ironic moustache in me. Check it:
WOLF P0W#R MuTHrrucka*!
See that lil’ guy in the photo?
That was our waiter.
Damn fine service if I’ve ever received it. His Dad does the cookin’, he runs the orders and his little bro takes the ca$h. A true family run operation*!
But how is the food?
Yes. This was under $5; Eat that big city*!
Greasy.
Breakfast.
You hung over?
3 cups of coffee and this breakfast will reset life as you know it in about 28 minutes.
Can’t beat the price point either. Lawyers are expensive, so a $10 meal for 2 is a f*ckin’ aces.
Score: 7.7/10
Warning: Probably not the best dining experience for vegimites or stuck up chain restaurant children. But who give’s a f*ck about them anyway.
I decided to indulge my inner grease fiend and head to Pizza Hut downtown; hoping to score a fu#ck do I feel fat lunch buffet experience.
Can you smell the stuffed cru$t excitement?*!?
As I walked up York Avenue i noticed that some clever lil’ prankster had spray painted black over the Pizza Hut logo. Since Winnipeg has a long, rich history of bikes and anarchy I didn’t think much of it.
I figured some dreadlocks with messenger bags had got all Kalle Lasn on the place.
:
:
:
:
not! a 'culture Jam' - pizza sadness
Then I saw the brown paper on the windows; and…
::: THE SIGN :::(
WHY L0rd Je$us WHY~!?
Not to be a band-standing r3@tard; but doesn’t we’z not have enough abandon buildings downtown!?!
Well, now that I’ve officially entered the blogosphere, maybe now CNN will start taking me seriously.
My first report from the mean streets of winnipeg brings be to the classic Times Change(d) – high and Lonesome Club.
I found the clientele that I expected. There was a nice mix of old young, hip and grizzly prospectors all around. As you can see, plaid was in full effect that night.
The first three people on earth to install Willie Nelson ringtones on to their iPhones.
If Elmer Fudd and Lady Gaga had a baby, this is the show it would’ve gone to after they eventually banished it to Winnipeg.
CAREFUL!!! THE VIDEO’S LOUD CUZ I’M A RANK AMATEUR
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As far as Ultra Mega goes, they feature garage rock stylings and wu-tang covers that you can trick militant anti-hip-hoppers into liking. It’s the perfect music to put on a mixtape for that chick in your first year psych course that always wears t-shirts featuring cartoon characters from the 80’s. It tells her that the only thing you love more than hip hop, is local indy rock and coffee shop style irony.
Very tasty tunes.
And Andrew Neville and the Poor Choices were great too. Not being a country fan myself, I still like their music because the lyrics are simply and funny, and the can really get a crowd going. Its excellent background music for drinking beers in the backyard when you should be at work.
The venue again, wasn’t bad overall, but the bar that resembled a slighty more stocked than the average T-cones basement rumpus room and that fact that there was more random shit on the walls then the inside of a monkey cage was slightly off-putting. Granted a lot of it was show posters and stuff like that but some corners looked like that A&E show hoarders.
Summary::: weird but workable venue – a very eclectic crowd of flannel wearing call centre workers and alcoholic retail managers, and two very capable bands.
AAAAAAAHhhh, now that I am a blogger I do feel more important.
Manitoba is a very big chunk of territory. Folks outside the perimeter always b!tch about how “them people in Winnipeg don’t see anything outside the city”.
So, to appease our rural readers, today’s ride comes from the City of Brandon.
More than a truck; a ManMobile^*!
So lets run down what makes this Manmobile ram a$$*! (in a non-homosensual way)
Roll Bar :: when you plan to get into serious shi~ you’re gonna need one
Push Bar :: mow down the wilderness without scratchin’ the paint
Black Rims :: this ain’t a fashion show; it’s about kickin’ a$$ and taking names
BEST PART:
A mEan a$s animal ornament to let bietchez to "back the f*ck up*!"
Stay tuned for more culture from our rural municipalities.
Writers note: The Hardest part of this post was not stealing the hood ornament.
This place is a floor to ceiling dining experience. a.k.a. big windows to watch the freakz and douchie’s that make up the cultural mosaic of downtown Winnipeg.
I ordered the chicken wrap w/a caesar salad & a regular coffee. Since I’m a nice guy I threw a $2 tip in their for the hard working staff.
Total cost: $14.79.
hmmmmmm…….
This better be good shi~.
I realize a good lunch with real ingredients is gonna cost some $crilla, but adding on the 35 cent debit card fee is kinda tacky.
But that’s just the cheapo Winnipegger in me.
The office can d1ne for $62.99*^!
Prices aside; How was the food:?!
Powering lawyers & bureaucrats since 2001
ITEM A ::: The Wrap:
Chicken
tomato
cucumber
olives
something (probably mayo)
Alright. There is a lot of chicken; its tender; its in a wrap. My socks are still firmly attached to my feet.
ITEM B ::: The Salad
romaine
croutons
dressing
more dressing
Pretty good. If you’re watching the lbs you’re looking at some extra time on the stair master, so try the garden salad.
ITEM C ::: The Coffee
Pretty bad. For a place that makes it’s name & signage off the concept of a coffee bar; horrible. Tasted burnt, like it had been on the element since open. Opt for a fresh brew Americano or some shi~.
Conclusion -> My Clue in…………………………………………………………………….
This place is aimed at the higher spending office crowd. Office Joe Whitebread might think it’s awesome, but for the price and the “meh” flavors I’m not sure it’s worth it.
Today we’re going to hit the fashion runways of Portage Avenue. Not just home to the coldest intersection in the world; there’s some hott hawthot fashion!*.
Bu$ Shelter Shi~eeK
Waiting for her white limosine; Linda is sporting the latest in Giant Tiger fleece, with an all weather winter coat. Loose pink pants are perfect for the nursing ward, while keeping enough air space for long underwear. Don’t want to freeze on your schmoke breaks.
This sassy k1tten wants you to know where she shops. Check out that Dollar store bag on her right arm.
