U Don Know Shi~

So as the whole world decides to ‘Go Green‘, uDonKnowShi has decided to start recognizing eco-friendly excellence.

Enter the Green Keener Award*^!

Check out this ultra-hawt graphic we made 4 it:

Be Clean. Be Keen.

So anyway…

I was on the Bus Saturday night and I saw this guy :::::::::::::::::

Ride $afe - Bring ur scaffoldingy thang

Not only was this guy smart enough to not drink and drive; he obviously abandon the concept of owning a car in Winnipeg; he decided to bring his large collection of recyclables.

You haven’t seen funny until you’ve seen a drunk guy swing scaffolding at innocent transit patrons.

Kudos my friend.

Congratulations on being the wiener of our Keener Salute.

I was walking down Portage ave the last night and (AFTER WALKING RIGHT PAST*! realized) I saw the camo-S.U.V. of my man dreams.

Suburban Badd@$$

So th BIG Who’s the Owner QUESTION IS….

 Loading ...

Well, we’ve made the mistake; acknowledged St. James as a part of the Winnipeg map.

We may as well cover more than Salisbury House.

Here it is: The Airport Motor Hotel.

Since a Trip Advisor reviewer called it the worst hotel ever; I figure I may as well just skip ’round back to the lounge.

Reppin' it old skool :: Pepsi wave and some garden lattice

So how’z this $hakedown?*!?

PRO: This place supports BOTH OV and the Bombers.

It'z like watching beautiful people have s3xx

PRO: They support the arts.

Cumm and see the nutcr@cker*!*!

PRO: They’re loyal to their customers.

Any bar that dedikatz tables to its patrons is EH-O-K. RIP Banker (2009)

PRO: You could win big.

Als0 note the fyne art on tha wall

PRO: Hotty (possibly plural) who luvv OV.

CON: They Close at 6 on Sunday’s. If you’re their to watch football, you’re outta luck.

So overall you’re looking at a 4 to 1 PRO movement. From what my memory can conjure; beer was moderately priced and they’ve got a great customer service plan in place.

Simply push the button on the right and wait...

If you weren’t in Winnipeg today; it was a total frozen shithole.

Some how this doesn't do it ju$tice

As you all know (and love); we do downtown restaurant reviews.

Today, partly due to some recent anger mail, and in the name of Fair and Balanced reporting, we’re going to venture into the progressive mecca that is St. James…

Where better to start than the Winnipeg hallmark; Salisbury House?

Yes. This photo was taken in 2010.

Salisbury house has been serving Winnipeggers red cake and moderate food for a long time now. As you all may or may not know, it is a heavy favorite for heavy singer/songwriter Burton Cummings. I was lucky enough to dine at the Ellice Salisbury location.

It’s a place for lovers.

2 blue pills & a nip will getz her everytime

It’s a place for the lonely.

I wish I hadn't taken those blue pillz

It’s a place for Winni’s.

If udonknowshi~ -> a winni is a hotdog

If you’ve never been. Don’t think raci$m when you see ‘Nips’ on the menu. It means hamburger and isn’t meant to offend. Although the nip was a temping offer, I went with the Winni.

Proof.

Good advertising works.

But iz it as deelish as it l00ks?!

Total cost on the Wini-plate and the coffee is about 10$. For that, you get a cheezy, onion loaded hotdog that tastes o.k.

The crinkle cut fries were white potato wonderz and coleslaw salad made me gag. However, the salad gag is not their fault; I can’t eat cold mayo. I am barely a man.

I would rate it 2 points above a hot dog cart; as my a$$ didn’t explode an hour later.

Bottom Line: Salisbury House is usually open 24 hours. If you stack this up against Perkins; its a gawd damn 5 star experience. Otherwise, you might want to look elsewhere.

What’z ur favorite Salisbury House experience/food/gaging story?

In the name of equlity; this one is aimed at the douchebag ladeez of our Manitoban offices. Check this shi~ out…

My bitch heels say I'm in charge; My bulldawg face $ays listen mmmmkay*!*!!

I assume the process for getting shi~ this ugly would be thus:

1. Refuse to have cataract surgery
2. Receive a Nygard Gift Certificate for your birthday
3. Proceed to the Nygard Fashion Park and ask for something brown with luster

TADA*!

UdonKnowShi~

I wasn’t going to review this show; but it’s been a slow week and I already had the pic$.

My main mayne Gregwar was in from T.O. and we were roaming town looking for something to do. We ended up at the Pyramid Caberet for cheap shots and ‘rock and roll’.

First up was Jicah; who’s songs reminded me of (long forgotten) pop rockers Space Hog
. Their acoustic driven songs made me think of holding hands with a hippie chick and running through a wheat field. Take that for what you will…

Runnin' just as fast as we can, can, can can

Score
6 / 10 from this guy —> probably 7.5 / 10 from a guy who likes this shi

Royal Canoe was up next and; in the name of Winnipeg music scene incest; had half the members of Jicah.

I’m listening to the myspace right now; trying to piece together what I thought of their sound.

This was the point where Gregwar dropped by the shots office. He couldn’t believe how cheap booze is in Winnipeg thus… no picture of the band.

This kid loved them so much he stared at his I-phomo for most of their set:

Score:
8 for musicianship
4 for originality

Now for the main event: The Waking Eyes*!

Ok. You play keyboards, I stay on bass. Mikey you're on shaker.

Sooooo the bass player & drummer from Jicah were still on the stage and the other fella$ switched instruments. Did they always have a keyboard?

At this point I was too Jagerbombed to give an accurate rating. I do remember wanting to fist f#ck the guy that told me this was a rock show. Check out their myspace and make your own call.

These hipsters kinda liked it:

I wi$h we had more blow...

Highlites
- Seeing Gregwar
- Getting Drizzzunk

This spotting was came to as quite a surprise.

Cowboy Collector Man in mid-afternoon, enjoying coffee at a McDonalds*******!

Takin' a break from wrasslin' junk - the cowboy breaks McDykz with some guy in runnin' shoes

For the last 3 years I have seen Cowboy man riding the #11 bus around in St. James; I did not know he ventured so far downtown*!

He’s usually standing 1 stop east of Assiniboine park; often with a baby stroller (w/a Teddy Bear in it) or carrying a box of pots. I’ve also seen him reppin’ tasseled pants and pulling a wagon.

Maybe he and Canada Man are secretly protecting the city!?!

I don’t know, but I feel safer knowing they’re out there.

If you didn’t get the memo; Winnipeg was selected as one of the culture capitols of Canada in the middle of last year.

It is a name I agree we deserve. Then I saw the marketing:

$omebody had to $ay it

Soooooooooo “Theatre” gets two mentions and we’re going to celebrate with a ‘cello concert’?

This is why the world needs us: UdonKnowShi.

It was only -15; so I took to the str33tz

Winnipeg has a rich history of art; artists; and people who wear berets. Lets put on our Art history toques and grab our brown bagz : it’s time to talk art.

Today’s piece is called No. 1 Northern. It’s currently sitting at Pioneer & Main; in front of some Guvernment grain building.

I found prime place to meditate on the yellowne$$

So this thing was designed by a RoughRiderz fan (boo!) named John Nugent and co$t 50 000. According to the plaque; it’s yellow because his in$piration came from the wheat fields of the prairies.

No indication as to why it is shaped that way.

Kinda like a school bus / crossed with lil kids slide*!?

Does the kids slide part represent the gentle rolling hills of his home province?

Does the school bus panel part represent the walls of prosperity that our great grain fields bring?

Does it’s bird like shape show us that… we, too, can fly!?

Honestly; I don’t know.

I don’t really get it.

The plaque says it’s a metaphor for grain; i.e. all of the above statements are true ‘cuz Ima sooo smrt*!

If you’re interested: You can read about this yellow anchors troubled past on this blog;
they did more research than me.